It’s been exactly 40 days since the big move. 40 days of ups and downs, feelings of pride and feelings of defeat. Sometimes I feel like this city is full of promise and opportunity, but some days I feel like moving could have been a horrible mistake and that this city is going to eat me alive. There are days where I feel like I’m drowning, but there are days where I feel like I’m walking on water.

A lot of the reasons I feel upset has to do with work related issues, but I don’t want to bring that negative energy on to my blog – so this will be the last I speak of this.

40 long days, 40 short days – however you spin it, there’s been 40 of them. In those days I’ve experienced many things, some of which have become a very concrete part of my daily life, some of which will not be. I’ve attended a hockey game, I’ve built relationships, I’ve become excited about things, and I’ve missed things. The city is big, and lonely and fast paced and it keeps my mind occupied, I get to spend quality time with family, and enjoy home cooked meals every night. I don’t feel trapped here, like I have many times before – I’m not saying that I’ll never feel trapped here, because the truth is; my passport expires in November.

It’s not all been sunshine and rainbows, it’s rained a lot – really, the amount of water that falls from the sky here is unbelievable. My dad was in the hospital for a couple weeks, and it was hard – things were serious, and the doctors believed he wouldn’t be okay. In the end, the fabulous staff in the CICU at St. Paul’s worked a few medical miracles, and so far, all we’ve had is good news. I mean, if you ask me, that is. He would argue that a low sodium diet, chased down with 20 hours a week of low-stress paperwork would beg to differ – but that’s all gravy in comparison.

There’s also things I miss about island life, I miss the way strangers treated me, the way people lived their lives and most importantly, the way people deal with situations. I miss my friends, and I miss my boyfriend (lame, I know – but that’s that), and lastly I miss my old team at work. A lot of things about my new life are fantastic, but some things (people) in life prove to be absolutely irreplaceable.

I’m still spinning, I’m not going to lie, my feet haven’t hit ground yet – but I can’t say I’m 100% convinced when I do land, it will be on my feet.

It’s feeling awfully likely to be a faceplant. I’ll keep you posted.

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