11.22.2014

It’s amazing how happy I am capable of being. With everything going on in life, it leaves me speechless how beautiful things can be.

It’s been almost nine months since the big move, and it’s been nine crazy months of change and growth. I’ve been lonely, I’ve been sad, I’ve been surrounded by love, yet felt alone since I moved here. I’ve lost people in my life, I’ve learned things about people in my life, and I’ve severed toxic ties. I’ve been unwell, and I’ve needed help. But after all this is said and done, I’m happier with where I am in my life than I’ve ever been before.

After the ended relationships I’ve experienced over the past nine months, I’ve learned that I need to focus on myself. I’ve set out to give people an opportunity to impress me, and learn who they are, and why. I’ve decided to learn about myself, and find out what makes me happy. I’ve learned that severing toxic ties is sometimes the answer, but more often than not, it’s about finding out why that person is the way they are, and helping them with whatever I can. Because if you ignore toxic people, they’re still toxic, we have the chance to help them eliminate the toxicity from their lives, and in turn find the beauty in each person. These have been my goals. Have I built stronger relationships? Yes. Have I found what makes me happy? Not yet, but yet through all of this, I am.

This whole post may be oversharing, but, I’m no longer ashamed of who I am, and I’m okay with people knowing me. If they don’t like me, that’s their prerogative, but in the end, I like me, and this is new. Until recently, I’ve never had a good relationship with myself, I put too much into relationships with other people. We (myself and I) still have a lot to work on to have a healthy relationship, but we’re closer than we’ve ever been before. And that, my friends, is absolutely beautiful.

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