I am not “that girl”

I’m not a health nut. I really couldn’t care less about what nutrients my body gets. But as I sit at my desk eating my gluten free, flax, date, banana loaf I see why I could look like that girl.

I eat a salad for lunch. Every. Day. I order my nicoise salad without the pasta, and double check there’s no gluten in my salad dressing. I sip my coffee black, because my body can’t tolerate soy or dairy. I read the labels on everything. I don’t do this because I care, I do this because I have to.

I will light up a cigarette as soon as I leave my favourite “health food” establishment. I do not do yoga, pilates or yogalates. I don’t exercise at all, and I sure as hell don’t drink enough water in a day.

My servers will always roll their eyes when I request the gluten free menu, and then reiterate that I am, indeed, ordering that gluten free. Let my clarify, I don’t really want to see the gluten free menu, but I’m hungry so I need to see the gluten free menu.

I buy my skin care products exclusively from Whole Foods, and I will ask a lot of questions to make sure they are, in fact, gluten free. I don’t use drug store foundation, because I can’t. Don’t label me as pretentious, because I am not. I don’t have an option.

This all being said, I am thankful for the pretentious gluten free people. They’ve made this all very trendy, which makes my life easier. My options are endless. I have at least 10 places near my work that will cater to my “diet”, and close to the same amount near my house. Things that should be completely off limits, I can still find in GF alternatives. Grilled cheese sandwiches, donairs, sweet treats, you name it.

So please, don’t roll your eyes at me. My allergies are just as real as the kid who made it against to rules to have peanut butter sandwiches in kindergarten.

3 thoughts on “I am not “that girl”

  1. Haha, I love this. It’s rather like a humour column in that you lead us on (well, it confused me at least) that you really ARE a gluten free girl, then you hit us with punchline that you’re actually allergic to gluten.

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