13 reasons why I’m glad I’m alive

So pretty much everyone and their dog has seen 13 Reasons Why at this point, and I’m included in that mix and I think it’s one of the most important shows of my time thus far. Please keep in mind, I have not yet finished the show so no spoilers please.

I was bullied relentlessly in high school, some of it small and trivial, and some of it was much, much more intense and I find that Hannah’s character is very real and very realistic. I would day dream about how I would make every single person realize their part in my death after I took my own life.

I couldn’t fall asleep last night as I was reliving my high school memories, and I felt the need to write this post. I ask that you please share it with any teenagers you know who could be struggling, or could be causing pain and suffering to others.

The bottom line here is that teenagers are assholes.

It’s been 10 years since the worst year of my life. I’ve come very far from these dark days, but I’m still affected by the words that were said to me. That being said, here’s a letter to me 10 years ago.

Dear 14-year-old Savanna,

I’m writing you this to educate you on what you will miss if you let them win. I know it’s hard now, and you will never forget how truly hard it was. You will never minimize what happened to you and you will grow up to make sure that the children in your life understand the weight their words and actions can hold. I know it’s not easy to ignore them when they’re at your school, in your phone and on your computer. I know they follow you and haunt you and I know that they’re in your head. Regardless to what they say, you will not be doing anyone a favour by killing yourself and you are not better off dead. You are going to get through this.

Here are 13 reasons why I’m glad you didn’t end your life:

  1. You are stronger because of what you suffered
  2. You are kinder because of what you suffered
  3. You will find your place in life, you will find your calling and you will be successful
  4. You will fall in love a couple times and one time it will really stick – he will feel like home
  5. You will make truly great friends who love and accept you for exactly who you are
  6. You have people who depend on you and need you, be there for them
  7. You will have nieces and nephews who look up to you and it’s your job to remind them to be kind and to be strong, love them and protect them
  8. You will be presented with opportunity after opportunity and you will thrive
  9. You will see things differently than those who had it easy, not because you feel like a victim, but because you are more aware
  10. You will be so comfortable and confident your self and your body, you will love yourself every day
  11. You have so many adventures to go on, between where you are now and where I am now, you will travel and see parts of the world you have barely heard of yet.
  12. You’re going to live in Europe! Briefly, mind you, but you’ll do it because you’re stubborn
  13. Because we’re not done yet, keep fighting, I promise, you’re going to be okay.

Love always,
2017 Savanna

I don’t hold any grudges anymore, it’s in the past. If we could all go back and do it all over again, we’d all do it differently. I’d rather put my energy into improving myself than fretting over this, it’s gotten me this far.

3 thoughts on “13 reasons why I’m glad I’m alive

  1. Deborah Fox says:

    Another well written and worth reading blog. Thank you for sharing your experiences so others will see they are not alone. If I had more time I would list 13 Reasons why every parent needs to take this more seriously.

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