In the past month I have made a number of difficult decisions – most notably I decided not to move to Ottawa.
Let me be clear, this was not a decision based on my relationship and this was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made.
I’m not going to go into all the reasons I made this choice, but to be frank this was a decision about putting myself first. Either way, I wanted to walk you through what I do at times I find myself at a fork in the road in my life.
1. I seek counsel from people I trust, and who I know will not judge me
I speak to my closest friends, the ones who have been there through other tough decisions in my life and the ones who I genuinely know will be completely unbiased regarding what I choose. I speak to people who I know genuinely only care about my happiness.I also speak to professionals. I will not lie, I have a therapist and I speak to her about everything. When life becomes overwhelming, she is often my first call.
2. I make pro/con lists
GIRL. You cannot make a decision without a pro/con list – end of discussion.
3. I practice visual expansions
This is something I subconsciously did until my therapist gave it a title. This is the practice of looking at all the possible outcomes. For the purpose of this example, I pictured what my life would look like by my birthday if I moved to Ottawa versus what it would look like if I stayed in Vancouver.
4. I listen to logic AND my emotions
My therapist calls this “tapping into the wise mind”. This is something I struggle with. I generally live very strictly in my logical mind. I find that I only swing over to my emotional mind when I am in crisis. I then rein myself back into my wise mind which lies in between my logic and emotions.
I hope this helps you all going forward, especially when both choices seem hard. These are the best tips I have for making sure you’re confident in your decision, as hard as it feels in the moment.