This is a question that everyone has been asking, and it’s taken me a while to really get my thoughts sorted out enough to sit down and write this. I’m going to go into as much detail here as I can without exploiting my loved ones.
The main reason is simple. I needed to put myself first. I have spent a large portion of my life making decisions in full belief that if the people I love are happy, then I will be too. As the years have passed it has become more and more apparent that the decisions I was making were not making me happy. This time I needed to sit down, focus on my goals and dreams and really work towards them.
I needed to prioritize my family. Family is forever, and family will always be my first priority. Long story short, I cannot fathom the idea of not being close through health concerns, and the growth of the little ones.
I needed control. This kind of ties back into putting myself first, but I genuinely believed that I needed to make this decision myself. I could very well end up moving to Ottawa by the end of the year, but that is a decision that I need to make myself. I couldn’t make this decision for anyone else, and I needed to have control over this aspect of my life. It’s no secret that control is something I struggle with and I began to feel triggered in a big way.
This was a self care decision. Sebastian and I are on the same page, and this was the right decision.