It’s Not Always as Great as it Seems

Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing life, I feel so blessed for it and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

For both my long time, and recent followers  I have lived a very charmed life. I have been whisked away on many amazing adventures and I’ve been very lucky for everything I’ve experienced. I have an entire blog about moving to Norway at the age of 16 as well as this one which has covered every move, change and accomplishment I’ve made. I feel so privileged to have been given these opportunities and been able to follow my heart time after time. I am not minimizing my wealth of blessings thus far.

I can see why someone looking at my life from the outside would be jealous, I can see why it may seem unfair to people that I can just uproot time and time again and follow my heart. What people haven’t seen until recently is the sacrifice and true turmoil of the decisions leading to these amazing experiences. Not all of them were tough decisions, don’t get me wrong. Going to England in June was an easy one, but that has not been the norm.

I sit here in limbo, in a beautiful place because I listened to my heart. I’m lucky right now, but I soon have to start making some decisions. I had what I thought was a done-deal opportunity in Ottawa, and I was wrong.

I’ve been open about what I’ve struggled with in the past, so I don’t need to go back into detail about that, but it goes to show my life hasn’t all been one incredible trip to Europe separated by stints of normal life in Canada.

I believe in love, and I have chosen time and time again to risk it all for that. It hasn’t worked out multiple times, but that won’t change anything for me. I will continue to take chances on love, but I am also learning that love includes self-love. I missed my graduation year of high school because I chose to move to Norway. I then made a decision to stay in Canada after that because I was awarded a large scholarship and ultimately ended that love story. This is why I am afraid to make any decision this time around.

Both of those decisions were hard, they both involved sacrificing comfort. Comfort of home and comfort of what I thought at the time was the love of my life. I then moved to Victoria where I had the most ups and downs of my life, I struggled with mental illness and self medication for years before ultimately deciding to move to Vancouver. That decision came at the cost of sacrificing the comfort of friends, and the only lifestyle I knew as an independent adult.

Now I must decide between the comfort of being close to Sebastian or the comfort of being close to my family and support network. Both of which are two things I feel I can’t live without. That being said, time after time I have proven that I can thrive without the things I swore I couldn’t imagine missing.

At the end of the day though, I am living my best life and I’m so thrilled to be on Prince Edward Island with the man I love and I still believe that love will conquer all.

 

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