A Reminder Not to be an Asshole

People I care about keep telling me I should blog about my life updates, and I will soon, but today I need to vent. As I was laying wide awake at midnight last night all worked up about something that was out of my control, my partner told me to write about it. So we’re here.

I saw a quote yesterday, I’ve known it for a long time and always loved it but something about it made me stop yesterday.

Empowered women empower women.

Easy enough right? Wrong. Think about the amount of times you hear about a women ripping another woman down about something that wasn’t her fault. Let’s use the example of when you’re dating a cheating prick. The other woman is not the one you should be mad at, you don’t know her circumstances, be mad at him. She did not set out to hurt you, he did.

Now, that’s not what I’m worked up about. I’m worked up about women tearing each other down when we should be working to build each other up. If I went out to purposefully hurt you, fine, that’s on me – but don’t rip me down, just don’t think of me. It’s so exhausting and so toxic to spend negative energy on people.

IF I DIDN’T SET OUT TO HURT YOU, you being hurt is your choice. That has nothing to do with me, and the idea of spending your energy on tearing me down, shows a lot more about your character than mine. Things will always be complicated, and life isn’t always easy, trust me. Sometimes things hurt, I understand that, but channel that into your own personal growth and change. If you choose to channel your hurt into tearing others down, you’re an asshole.

It’s already hard enough out there as a woman, why would we make it harder for one another when we could be building each other up? I just don’t understand. Maybe you’ve done your damage, and maybe I’m at the end of my road – but everything comes back threefold.

Accidentally Putting Down Roots – 4 Years in Vancouver

Four years. Today is my fourth Vanniversary and I’m ashamed to say I spent the first 3 and a half years trying to leave. Then I did. I then spent 2 months trying to get back, and I’ve spent the last 4 months being absolutely infatuated with my city.

I remember 4 years ago feeling the kind of hope that I had lost up until recently, I also remember calling my mom in tears multiple times since then. I felt this city take me in, chew me up and try to spit me out. I felt myself fighting it for years, trying to find my place. I felt myself giving in and finding a way out. I felt Vancouver win.

Vancouver absolutely did win, but not in the way I thought it had. The city tested me, pushed me and grew me. When I stopped trying to fight it, it gave me community and love. I found my people and my routine, and over the past year this city became my home. I had to leave for a minute to find my way back, but I wouldn’t take back a thing.

I don’t think I’m still falling, I think I hit the ground last year and didn’t even notice. All I know is that now, I’m climbing and I’m on my way back up, and now I’m in control of where I end up. Maybe I’ll jump again, maybe not – we’ll find out.

My heart lives in this city and I’m so blessed to be here. Thanks for the most unreal 4 years, here’s to the next one.

2017 was a Record Year

As the year starts to wrap up I can’t help but look back on this year and I’m just at a loss for words. A year ago things looked so different for me, I had different hopes, aspirations and dreams. I was a completely different person and when I look back a year ago, the girl I was feels like such a stranger.


I was working as a legal assistant at a top national law firm, working towards becoming a paralegal. I hated my career path but I felt like it must be worth it for status, money and the feeling of success. When I lost my job in February it triggered a string of events that there’s no way any one could have predicted.

I began to focus more heavily on my social media, writing more often and producing quality content. I’ve gained almost eight thousand followers this year on Instagram which has offered me countless opportunities. It’s been a wild ride. Throughout this process I was forced to genuinely get to know myself and focus on my passions in life. This lead me not only down my social media path, but also into politics. I started volunteering in February and have now worked two campaigns and feel my path falling into place. Aside from the logical, classic success I have found in this area of my life, I have also found my people. I have so much love for my friends and family within our party and feel so at home having them close by.

I have realized how blessed I am to have such an incredible support network of friends and family and I don’t think I could ever leave them behind.

Aside from all of this, I had a summer of travelling where I spend June in England. I spread my time between the English country-side in North Devon and cities like Exeter and London. Once returning I had a month settled back home in Vancouver before driving across Canada from Vancouver to Charlottetown. You can read about that trip here.

I’ve been back in Vancouver for three months and have fallen in love all over again with the city I call home. It’s not perfect by any stretch, but it’s home and it’s perfect for me.

So thank you all again for the most amazing 2017, every single person reading this is to thank for this and had a part in making this my best year yet.


My 2017 Canadian-Made Wishlist

With the holidays just around the corner I’ve compiled a list of my favourite Canadian brands to support this yuletide season. This post is not sponsored or affiliated with any of the brands I speak about below. None of these links are affiliate links and all opinions are 100% my own.

I love to support small businesses and local businesses. Most of these brands I have worked with in the past, and have relationships with their owners, but not all. I genuinely love these products and believe in these companies. I cannot wait to see what these companies come up and out with in 2018!

Local to Vancouver

Bare Skin Bar

I am actually obsessed with these bath bombs, and I promise you I’m not just saying that because I have a giant crush on Cynthia, the owner of this company. These are incredible products made locally in Vancouver by an incredible woman. They’re made with completely Canadian-sourced materials and are made with real ingredients. They don’t have gross, artificial smells, and you won’t find any glitter in these. They do exactly what you want a bath bomb to do, smell amazing and make you skin feel soft AF.

Rocco Wear

I have LOVED Rocco Wear for years! I personally own two of her scarves and a blanket, and have gifted my friends with these scarves in the past. Another amazing woman runs this company and makes everything she sells by hand in her home. The kind of quality you can only expect from handmade knitwear.


You guys already know how I feel about REDAVID – but if you missed here, see my full review here. I highly recommend the Orchid Oil line to everyone, especially those with chemically treated hair. I like to put my hair through a lot, so I will continue to reach for my Orchid Oil products.

Elsewhere in Canada

Sewn Designs

Listen, I hate bras. I hate them. But I also have nipples and tend to obey society’s rules and expectations from time to time so I wear bras. I love the Sewn Bralettes because they are comfortable and super cute. I’ve found myself looking for more clothing to buy to better show off my Sewn Bralette. They’re handmade in Calgary and are such high quality.


Clean Natural Life

Raise your hand if you love essential oils! Yes! Me too! Clean Natural Life sells 100% pure oils, unlike many essential oils out there (seriously, do you research about certain cult favourites – you’d be surprised). This company is run out of Calgary by yet another incredible woman – except this woman is someone I’ve known for over half my life. She sells her products at a fraction of the cost you would find them elsewhere at the same (or better) quality depending on where you shop.

Basd Body Care

Again, this is a company I have written an in depth review on, find it here. I still love this product, especially as the winter has come in I am consistently looking for any product that moisturizes my skin and Basd always comes through for me.

Ask Yo Mother

Ask Yo Mother is a new company to me, but I have been obsessed with their banners. I recently won one at the Gatley opening party and it is quickly becoming my favourite piece. They have a banner for every home, mood and occasion! Anyone would be thrilled to receive one of these this holiday season – they’re just so CUTE.

Reasons I “Ghost” Men on the Internet

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried online dating! I know I have and let me tell you – it’s terrible.

Many women I’ve talked to have expressed that they tend to lean towards just ghosting men who they don’t feel a connection with and in my past I have taken this option as well. They’ve explained to me that many times when they were upfront about their feelings, the person on the other end didn’t handle it well, they got angry and defensive. I had never tried it, but I figured that was because I hadn’t been in that position for years.

Recently, I decided that maybe I was too mature now to continue ghosting men, and that I should treat them with respect and be honest and upfront with them. Let me tell you exactly how that played out.

He. Went. Off. I was reprimanded for being the 12th in a row, I was reprimanded for my demanding schedule and I was reprimanded for not “giving him a chance”. Let me be very clear: you do not owe ANYONE a chance. If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it and that’s your prerogative. I want my nieces to know that it’s always okay to say no, and not be afraid of it backfiring. I want to live in a world where we can all just be respectful to one another. I want to live in a world where the word “No” is respected and isn’t seen as a word that’s up for debate. Because it’s not, and I’m tired of it being so difficult for people to understand that “No means no”.

How to Have your Best Birthday Yet

It was my 24th birthday this weekend, and while it may not have been the perfect birthday weekend – it was the best birthday I’ve had in years.

I went into it this year with no plans and a not giving a f*** attitude and I wouldn’t change a thing. Here’s what I learned about having the best birthday ever.

1. You have to make your birthday great.

You can’t depend on anyone else to make the day special. Those who love you will absolutely add to the specialness of your birthday, but no one knows what you want better than you do. I bought myself balloons and played the day almost entirely by ear, but it was full of all the things and people that make my heart smile.

2. Keep realistic expectations.

If you go into birthday season like I always have expecting it to be a non-stop party and love shower, you’re going to be let down. Do what you want, when you want but don’t expect it to be anymore than you can actually orchestrate. I kept it simple this year with a brunch, some shopping, a gluten-free bakery trip and dinner with some solid people.

3. Spend it with people you actually like.

Don’t throw a huge rager with strangers you don’t know and people you don’t like. Even it means having brunch with your two best gals and then spending the rest of the day with family or your favourite colleagues, do it. It’s your birthday and you’re allowed to be selfish.


Brunch at Earl’s Test Kitchen in Vancouver, BC – they have so many yummy GF options (not the waffles though)


#metoo – A Recovered Legal Assistant’s Experience with Sexual Harassment

As the “Me too” movement continues to go viral, I felt the need to share something that has effected me and countless others. I spent three years working for law firms. Which is a short time in comparison to most assistants. I briefly spoke on my Instagram about how one of the reasons I felt inclined to change careers was because of how common sexual harassment is in the legal industry.

I desperately wanted to work somewhere where I never felt like an object. I wanted to work somewhere where my looks were never commented on, or attempted to be capitalized on. I am exhausted from playing the game. From laughing and shrugging it off when a man who has power over me comments on my body. I hate knowing that I couldn’t press charges if I wanted to because I’m in no position to sue a lawyer. I’m tired of HR either being a joke, or being easy on the professionals because they bill a lot of time.


I know the game. I know to laugh innocently when they talk about all the disgusting things they want to do to women, I know it’s better to keep my mouth shut. I know about the assistants who have gotten involved with their lawyers, and lost their jobs because of it. While the lawyers keep their jobs and continue to move up in the field. This is normal, this is commonplace.

Your rape jokes aren’t funny. They trigger my PTSD as a sexual assault survivor. Yes, I want and deserve a raise, but not because of anything my body does or doesn’t do. It’s not worth it, and something needs to change. Firms and HR departments need to stop ignoring this problem and need to start addressing it head on. The industry as a whole must cultivate an environment where we feel safe to speak out instead of intimidating us. We’ve been silenced for too long.

Have you experienced this culture in your workplace? Sound off in the comments below.

The Issue with the Hustle

Hustling is never seeing your family, it’s coming home to a dark quiet house in the middle of the night and microwaving leftovers for dinner. It’s binge eating after dinner because there wasn’t enough time in the day to eat a substantial meal. It’s missing your loved ones even if they’re 5 minutes away, because you “just don’t have time”.

Hustling is unhealthy. It’s anxiety riddled, lonely and comes with very unhealthy eating habits. Eating cheesies for breakfast is fine if it’s by choice, but when you only ate cheesies for a day because you didn’t have time to get anything else, it’s an issue.

I get that sometimes we all have to hustle. Sometimes things have to give, and sometimes it’s worth it. I really, truly hustle a couple times a year and it always takes months for me to recover from. I try my best to practice self-care during these times and that usually means I slap on a face mask twice a week and believe that’s good enough. But it’s not, I know that. The hustler lifestyle isn’t sustainable, and we, as a society, need to stop glorifying it.

Meghan Does Self-Care – Why Perfectionism is for Suckers

Welcome to the first part of a (hopefully) ongoing collaboration with my soul-sister, Meghan. I talk a lot about having an amazing tribe of women who support each other and my girl, M is a prime example of this. Yesterday I messaged my best friends and begged them to write something to post this morning because I just couldn’t bring myself to do it this week. So thank you, ladies for being my rock.

Keep reading below to get a good glimpse of one of the many reasons I love Meghan.

Perfectionism – it’s that thing you claim to have in your job interviews that makes you seem like a real catch. It’s (part of) the reason I spent a couple of years starving myself in pursuit of some imaginary ideal. I didn’t believe I deserved love, or friendship, or happiness, until I hit some inane moving target. It’s also the reason I find myself tearing up on a rainy Wednesday afternoon, convinced I’ve failed* the Intermediate Accounting exam I’ve just written (*read: got a B+). It’s the end of a tumultuous week, full of group projects, exams, work, and a bout of the flu.

Instead of patting myself on the back for getting everything done on time, I’m on the bus reliving every hour I wasted over the past seven days – and there were a lot. I’m trying to do better. Not in school, but in the way that I treat myself. Recognizing that I am a human being, and that I have limitations. Setting reasonable expectations. Taking bubble baths instead of studying when I need to. Talking to myself with the kindness and understanding I seem to find for everyone else. Perfectionism – it’s exhausting, and debilitating.

My sister texts me, “You will survive if you get a B ;)” and it’s true. A B+ is good enough. Doing my best is good enough. And me? I’m definitely good enough.

Meghan doesn’t have her own blog (yet), but check her out on instagram!

Things I’m Thankful for

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend in Canada, and I spent the weekend with colleagues, friends and family. The past few months have been a whirlwind, so it was nice to reflect back and think of all the things I’m thankful for this year.

1. My home

I’m so blessed and happy to be back in Vancouver, as I’ve made abundantly clear as of late. Not only that, I am thankful to live in Canada. I am thankful for my country, my province and my city.

2. My family

I’m thankful for family that loves and supports me, I’m thankful for their health. I’m thankful that I can still call members of my family and tell them about all the happenings of my life.

3. My friends

The family I chose. The sisters I wasn’t born with. My tribe. My squad. All my goals rolled into one. I’m so blessed to be surrounded by so many strong women, who I know love and support me and who know I love and support them.

4. My freedom

This year I walked away from an industry that I poured my soul in to. This year I moved across the country. Twice. I’m free to do these things. I have the most amazing support network to help me navigate me through all the craziness that’s happening. I’m so so so grateful for this freedom this year.

5. All of you

My followers and subscribers. You have given me the outlet to share my true self with the world, to post about my life and to try to inspire people. Words cannot express how thankful I am for every single one of you. Every one who reads, likes, comments, or follows along with my crazy path. It means the world to me, truly. Thank you for allowing me to express myself and pursue my passion. I’ll never take this for granted.

Happy Thanksgiving and happy harvest. I love you all so much.

Brett Alton Photography